just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
