Pappa wants mamma naked
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
it was like eating out sand paper
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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