so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize