she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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