Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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