do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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