We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
