I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my being single is dangerous.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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