so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
