It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
