Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
as a side note pls kill me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
