Sponge bath it is.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
