My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
