Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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