I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize