if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
