Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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