So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
not ubering you a puppy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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