Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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