guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Enjoy the penises
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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