woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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