brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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