Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
