hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize