Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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