i think my mom watched the whole time
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Shame - the story of my life.
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