So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
