you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
