i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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