HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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