My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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