I wish I could punch you in the face.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
