we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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