road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
