I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
