dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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