I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
