You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
