garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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