This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
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Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
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Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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