At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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