does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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