in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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