Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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