wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
