Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
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He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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