just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
