'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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