Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
