did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
