Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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