That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
