I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
