we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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