i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize