It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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