after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
