I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
