Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
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It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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