Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
