ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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