He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
