remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
