it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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